So, you and your squeeze want to slink off – and cuddle – without flashbacks of exploding diapers and the piercing screams only a 2-year-old can make.
I am probably going to get my ass chewed by my resort friends – but F’em.
We are all about truth and transparency here.
Especially when we start out our day hugging a Dirty Monkey and chasing Wild Turkeys.
It’s better I ask forgiveness – than for you to bolt upright at 6:00am from that blood-curdling scream of a child’s first ride down a frigid water slide.
It takes the lead right out of your pencil.
But I digress.
So here is a little history.
A number of years back, Paradisus in Riviera Maya built a resort and split it in half.
One half was called La Esmerelda (the family side) and the other half was called La Perla (the adult side)
It was, and still is, a stunning resort.
Most of the dining options were in the middle of the resort and shared by both sides.
So most meals and the beach were noisy – and not very relaxing.
The same with dinners and entertainment.
As I mentioned at the start of this rant, that works fine if you’re attending a destination wedding where the Honeymooners can escape to the Adults Section while the family and friends can attempt to corral the kiddies who are binging on scoops of Double Chocolate Chunk. (How can you say no to your kids when you’re on vacation at an all-inclusive?)
One more story and then I will get to the point.
My sweetie and I had a chance to spend a long weekend at Hotel Xcaret.
This resort is built into the jungle with cenote’s, real rivers, and lots of places to sneak away and get your hammock on.
The parks they include in the price of the room are worth every penny.
But…..Like Paradisus, they have an adult section AND a family section.
Unfortunately, all the best restaurants and the entertainment is on the Family side of the resort.
So after a leisurely afternoon at the adult rooftop pool sneaking peeks of sideboob, I suggested we head over for the evening entertainment which included dinner.
You know what happened next.
We were seated at a table with a wonderful family of 6 – with 4 kids under the age of 5
Those parents had to be wearing earplugs.
These F’in kids screamed bloody murder all during the meal – and the enterpainment.
It was so romantic that we got up and left.
To help you avoid those situations here are some all-inclusive resorts that have both adults-only and family sections.
- Hotel Xcaret (they now have built the Arte which is fully Adults-Only and located away from the main hotel).
- Secrets/Dreams Vallarta Bay – a great downtown PVR resort near the Malecon.
- Secrets/Dreams Bahia Mita – a brand new resort in the stunning Punta Mita area north of Puerto Vallarta.
- Hard Rock Riviera Maya – they actually have done the best job separating the Adults Section that I have seen.
- Royalton Resorts with the Hideaway Adults Only sections – they also do a really good job of creating a resort that minimizes noise.
- Majestic Resorts – the new property in Costa Mujeres (north of Cancun) is stunning and well insulated.
- Zoetry Resorts – small boutique properties that are like living in someone’s very expensive mansion.
There are more, but these come to mind quickly.
Be sure to ask before you book. The resort websites tend to skate over this information. Pictures of waterslides give it away.
Adults-Only All Inclusive Resorts, where you are guaranteed to be Adult-Only, are:
- Couples Resorts
- Most Secrets Resorts (not like their Bahia Mita property, so be sure to check)
- Le Blanc Resorts – these are stunning
- Marquis Los Cabo
- Excellence and Beloved – they own the Finest Resorts which are usually next door but separated.
- Unico 20°87 – this is a very unique resort
This post is more of a precautionary tale.
The time we get alone as a couple is precious.
Don’t save all year for your sexy getaway only to be blindsided by pretty pictures and the lack of knowledge.
FYI….This photo is typical of this new style of All-Inclusive Resorts. As you can see from this photo above, Secrets & Dreams share facilities (restaurants, pools, and beach) in the center. The Dreams pool on the left has a waterslide. The Secrets pools on the right are the adults-only.
Travel safe and stay thirsty!
P.S. If you want more insight on a resort then ping me in the Q&A box below.
Our team here at BestAllInclusive.com have been in the industry since 1976 when Club Med was the only All-Inclusive.