Hotel Xcaret – Freakin’ Awesome

Hotel Xcaret's All Inclusive Lazy River
Hotel Xcaret's All Inclusive Lazy River

Just returned from 3 nights in the jungle.

In a Nutshell: Literally……Check PricesHotel Xcaret is carved out of the earth and woods.

So…what makes it so Freakin’ Awesome?

Calling it a Resort does not do it justice…..it is actually a living, breathing, independant eco-system.

Upon arrival you feel like someone actually created Jurassic Park – complete with dinosaurs (okay, there are not really dinosaurs, but it feels like you’ll see one around every corner!).

The walk to your room seems normal, but upon arrival you’re hit between the eyes with the indigenous art and hand-carved furniture created by the locals.

(guys, you even get a chair with a built-in sac holder)

Staring out your room window you see a moat that encircles the resort, with kayaks you can use to explore.

The beaches are more like patches of sand integrated all across the coral reef.

Birds, fish, mammals will squawk their opinion of you wearing black socks with sandals.

When you finally break out of your eco-stupor, you realized you’re starved.

There are tons of places to eat…..I am not a ‘foodie’ so I can’t rave about the unique preparation and delicate seasoning of the poached eye of newt.

But I can tell you they have Grey Goose and big glasses.

Once you have fueled up and are ready to take on worlds, you have 8 worlds (parks) to choose from.  All FREE! (for guests of the Check PricesHotel Xcaret and the new Check PricesHotel Xcaret Arte) and most have all-inclusive food/drinks so you can stay all day.

Xcaret, Xel-Ha, Xplore, Xplore Fuego (it’s the same park – just at night they go all fuego), Xenses (don’t do it if you’re already on mind-altering meds), Xoximilco (a Mariachi-rave of tequila-fueled boating chaos, tons of fun), Xenotes, Xichen and a new park Xavage which is psycho (wear your Depends). For an additional cost, you can even swim with sharks.

Most parks will each take a full day to see.  And three parks are on the grounds of Hotel Xcaret which you get to via a gondola in little canals, or in an air-conditioned shuttle if you’re a wuss.

To get to the other parks you take their brand new Jurassic themed buses.

So for all you Teens who hate everything…..you will have to work to have a bad day.

My final note….if you are on a honeymoon or just want a romantic getaway, you get your own adults-only building (Casa Fuego) with your own restaurants, bars and rooftop (discreet topless optional) pool that overlooks the whole oceanfront side of the park. NEW: A brand-new adults-only option – Hotel Xcaret Arte – is now located right next door to Hotel Xcaret, be sure to check it out!

Ok….one more final note……the freakin’ spa is like nothing you have ever seen…..it’s situated inside a series of caves chiseled out of limestone – with roots sticking out and natural water flowing through it.

It is the most mind-bending zen meld I have ever experienced……it is what every other Spa wants to be…….

If you can’t have fun here…….it’s your own fault……..

~Jake   – aka  Dr. ‘Dino Hunter’ Fuego

P.S.  The place runs so smooth because the owners have been running the Xcaret Theme parks for years.

The staff are extremely well trained on how to treat you and seem truly happy to be living on another planet.

Think its expensive?  It’s actually not.  Even without all the freebies and goodies.

Go……….It will change your outlook on resorts forever.

Don’t Miss:

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About Jake Johnson 242 Articles
Jake Johnson is a full-time travel bum, who prefers warm climates where the women wear less clothing. We've tried to teach him things like manners and diplomacy, but we've given up and simply rely on our editors to remove the most offensive bits from his articles. We take no responsibility for his inane ramblings opinions - they are his own.
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